


with stars in our eyes

by Shadaras



Series: with hands held high [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dom/sub, Explicit Consent, F/F, Femslash, No Sex, Plot What Plot, just a lot of touching and kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 08:02:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5658781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadaras/pseuds/Shadaras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was completely unfair that the person who -- from what Jess had heard and asked and been told -- had lived practically alone for most of her life was better at initiating a physical relationship than the person who’d grown up flirting for the fun of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	with stars in our eyes

The first time they kissed, Jess had just arrived back from a mission checking the Hosnian system for survivors.

The mission should have been easier than it was, too. Blue Squadron had run into some survivors, sure, but the pirates had been more prevalent, and, though they’d won (well, taken no losses, which is close enough to a win for her; the skirmish had barely been a battle before orders had come to pull out and return home), Jess had spent most of the flight back contemplating how likely it was that they were really First Order minions masquerading as bandits. Her conclusion, as the squadron came out of hyperspace, was that it was far too likely.

So she’d been tired, and stressed, and looking forward to a shower, and she’d left her X-wing and started walking to the bunks. Rey was hovering outside the hangar door, and Rey called out, “Hey,” as she passed.

Rey moved so fast that Jess didn’t really have time to register what was happening, and then she was wrapped up in a hug, and Jess had started opening her mouth to ask what was going on when Rey’s lips (dry still, but soft, and warm) met hers. It was only for a moment, and then Jess pulled back, stepping away from Rey’s grip.

“What,” she managed to say, somewhere in the quickened beat of her heart and the way her skin was overly sensitive and the flight suit suddenly far too constricting.

Rey stepped back, and shrugged, and met her eyes. “I’m glad you’re back safe.”

“Yeah,” Jess said through the tightness in her throat. “I am too.”

They stood there, silent, just staring at each other, for almost long enough that Jess was going to say something, maybe ask Rey why the kiss. Then, just as sudden as before, Rey said, “I’ll see you later?” and started moving away.

Jess followed, almost without thinking. “Once I no longer smell like sweat? Yeah.”

Rey looked over her shoulder, smiling just a little. “It’s not bad. But nicer when you’re clean.”

“Yeah.” Jess reminded herself that she’s walking in the wrong direction, and then proceeded to keep following Rey anyway. “When later were you thinking?”

Her smile turned into a full-fledged grin, and Rey turned and drew to a stop. “Don’t worry,” she said, eyes bright and halfway to gold in the sunlight. “I’ll find you.”

Jess stood, rooted to the spot, while Rey leaned in and gently kissed her cheek.

When Rey moved off, she stayed there, not quite willing to raise her hand and touch the spot that Rey had kissed. She stared after the scavenger. Jedi. Pilot. So many words, and none of them encompassed the complicated mass of feelings that Rey had apparently decided to cut through with a kiss. Which was completely unfair, because why was the person who -- from what Jess had heard and asked and been told -- had lived practically alone for most of her life was better at initiating a relationship than the person who’d grown up flirting for the fun of it?

Jess shook her head, and that broke the spell enough for her to actually turn and walk to the bunks. A shower. Yes. A nice cold shower, to combat the warmth and the sweat and maybe distract her from wondering where Rey had learned to do that.

*

‘Later’ turned out to be at about 2300, local time. As in, about when Jess had pretty much given up on Rey showing up again that night and was seriously contemplating just going to sleep and trying not to replay that kiss over and over again.

And then a knock sounded on the door, and Jess paused the old holo she was watching and said, “Come in,” without thinking about it at all.

Rey entered, and the door slid shut behind her in what felt like an all-too-sudden silence.

Jess smiled, tentative, and said, “You can sit down if you’d like.” She nodded at the chair by her desk, and also at the foot of her bed -- she was sitting at the head, wearing ragged old sweatpants and an equally old shirt thin enough to make her suddenly very aware of how she had gotten sick of wearing a bra most of an hour ago.

“Thanks.” Rey circled the room, looking at all the X-wing models and posters for Rogue Squadron and the Skywalker Praxeum that Jess kept half-meaning to pack up again. It wasn’t like she minded people seeing them, but the way Rey was examining them made her feel exposed in a way she hadn’t been expecting. She turned off her datapad and placed it on the shelf over her bed, more as a distraction from watching Rey than anything else, if she was being honest with herself.

The bed squeaked as Rey settled down on the other end. Jess could feel the dip of her weight, and then the gentle press of Rey’s toes against hers. Jess turned back to Rey, and was almost prepared for her unsettlingly direct gaze, eyes now dark in the minimal lighting. “I wasn’t expecting you this late,” Jess said. Her voice seemed far too loud, contrasted with the stillness inside, even though Jess could hear the night bugs outside, and other voices echoing down the hall and in the tiny window.

Rey shrugged. The muscles in her shoulders were nicely highlighted, and it was really quite unfair. Her toes slid up Jess’ foot, until Rey’s foot entirely covered hers. Then, Rey said, “I like surprising you.”

“You succeeded.” Feet shouldn’t be this distracting. Jess makes an effort to keep herself still. It would be nice if she knew the rules of the game Rey was apparently playing with her. “Is what comes next another surprise, or do I get to know what’s going on?”

In the silence that followed, Jess replayed her words, and decided that no, she hadn’t sounded too aggravated, she hadn’t said anything that should have annoyed Rey. Then, sudden and bright, Rey leaned forward and murmured, “I’m going to kiss you. I want to touch you. Is there anything I should avoid?”

Jess reached for her instinctively, but before she could touch Rey, the other woman’s grabbed her wrists, and, _wow_ , now she can’t really think at all. Jess took a deep breath. Normal. She could totally still sound normal. Even with her skin flushed and her heart beating so hard she’d be amazed if Rey couldn’t feel it. “I don’t think so. I’ll tell you if something’s wrong.”

Rey nodded, then tugged until Jess leaned in enough for a kiss. Rey’s lips were still dry, but they were confident on hers, and when Jess tried to pull away for a breath, Rey followed, and by the time Jess realised she was whining it was all she could do to stop and look at Rey, wide-eyed and unsure of anything that was going on.

“You still here?” Rey asked softly, close enough that her breath rolled over Jess’ cheek.

She shuddered a little at the ghostly touch, and nodded. “Yes.”

“Good.” Rey released one of her wrists (the left one) and pushed, hand flat against her chest, until Jess was lying flat on the bed. “May I leave marks on you?”

Jess had to close her eyes at the thought, and she could _hear_ her breath speed up. Rey’s fingers on her chest traced short patterns, the pressure of her palm staying constant, unabating. Nothing else moved. Rey’s breathing was steady, but Jess could hear it, in a way she normally wouldn’t think to. Finally, Jess said, “Yes.”

Rey’s fingers tightened on her wrist, and Rey’s nails scratched into the skin of her collarbones. Jess gasped, just a slight quickening of her in-drawn breath, and she heard Rey breath out something that was almost, but not quite, a word in something that might’ve been a reply. Then Rey lay down on her, and the warmth and pressure of her body was all Jess wanted to think about, let alone _could_.

“It’s okay,” Rey whispered into her neck, and Jess belatedly realised that the whine she’d heard was her own. “If you’re making noise, it’s telling me things.”

The edge of her teeth scraped over Jess’ shoulder, and she shuddered against Rey, her free left arm wrapping around her instinctively. Drawing close the person who’s overwhelming, not quite threatening, her. Such good survival instincts. But Rey was warm, and the arc of her back felt lovely, and the way her mouth was exploring Jess’ collarbones now made Jess arch up, asking for more contact in the only way she could think of right now.

Rey laughed, and it echoed through her bones and her lips on Jess’ shoulder. She released Jess’ wrist, and Jess opened her eyes and whined at the loss of contact.

“Shh,” Rey said, and that newly freed hand came up to run through her hair. Jess turned into the contact, kissing Rey’s arm. It was still wrapped up in those armwarmers. They were clean now, though, and the way that Rey froze for a moment when at her kiss made Jess just nuzzle closer. Then Rey laughed, and her head moved up until Jess could feel her lips at her ear. “I could take those off,” she whispered. “But then I’d need to stop touching you.”

“Meh,” Jess managed, and wrapped both arms around Rey in a slightly more intelligible response.

“That’s what I thought,” Rey said, and she kissed her ear.

Jess hissed, unprepared for how _nice_ it felt for once, the warmth and almost-dampness running over her ear. Rey drew back, and Jess managed, “Was good,” and then Rey was nipping at the curve of her ear, and tugging at her hair ever so slightly, and Jess wasn’t sure when her eyes had closed again but they had and she couldn’t really think of anything other than _Yes, please, keep doing that_.

When Rey said, “Good, I will,” Jess realised she’d spoken aloud. There was a moment when she was almost embarrassed, that she couldn’t tell where thought stopped and words began, and then Rey was nipping at her throat and she lost all pretense at coherence.

Rey wasn’t biting. She just used her lips, strong and sure, and that was plenty, and Jess could hear her own whine, broken between gasps for breath. She was clutching at Rey’s clothing, holding herself to the here and now by that one almost-conscious action as Rey pulled her head back by her hair and Jess whimpered.

“Still good?” Rey asked, voice gentle, lips still on her neck.

“Yes,” Jess managed. She thought she might say ‘yes’ to anything Rey asked, right now. The gentle pain on her hair, and the near-overload on her neck, though? It felt good, and she wanted-- wanted _more_ of it, even if she couldn’t verbalise it, even if it was all she could do to say ‘yes’ alone.

Rey hummed into her throat, and then gently bit her.

Jess clenched her hands into Rey’s back, and shuddered closer, and whispered, “Please.”

So Rey bit her, and Jess lost track of where her mouth was -- on throat or collarbones or jaw or ear or mouth -- in the rain of sensation. Rey kissed her, rough and demanding, and half a bite, and when Jess stopped to breathe, it was as Rey pulled on her lip with her teeth (gentle, so gentle), until Jess couldn’t tell if she was shaking in truth or she just thought she was because that was the easiest way to process everything.

Jess pressed herself into Rey, as close as she could get, and Rey’s biting died down into gentle kisses. Even that was almost too much, and Jess kept breathing, trying to get it smooth again, trying to lose the ragged edge, the whine that was always at the edge of her throat now. Rey’s hand in her hair was gently petting it, and Jess knew Rey was murmuring something, but it was in a language she couldn’t recognise. It sounded familiar. Maybe she’d be able to recognise it later, but right now, Jess was entirely focused on breathing, on trying to unhook her fingers from Rey’s belt.

The shudders finally died down, and Jess relaxed into Rey’s arms. Without a word, Rey rolled to the side, pulling Jess with her, until they were lying side by side, Jess’s face still curled into Rey’s chest. She could hear and feel Rey’s breathing almost as well as her own, now. It was no calmer than hers, and Jess smiled.

Silence wrapped them, and Jess started running her hand slowly up and down Rey’s spine, trying to wrap her thoughts into words. Rey wasn’t saying anything, though, just playing with her hair and occasionally kissing her forehead, so she had time.

At last, she found her words again, and said, quietly so that she disturbed the night’s peace as little as possible, “Why this?”

Rey’s voice buzzed in her chest, right next to Jess’ ear. “I wanted this.”

“But not...” Jess trailed off, feeling Rey shake her head. “I don’t understand.”

“That’s okay.” Rey pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Did you like this?”

Immediately, Jess said, “Yes.”

“So did I.” She thought she could hear a smile in Rey’s voice. “That’s what matters most.”

Jess nodded, and let the silence sit again. She had to pull an arm out from under Rey, so that it wouldn’t fall asleep, before she found her next question. “Why me?”

Rey shrugged. “I like you. You like me. Is that... wrong?” she asked, voice very small at the end.

“No.” Jess uncurled enough to look up and smile at Rey. “It’s very good. Not something I expected, but... something I liked. A lot.” She leaned forward and kissed Rey, slow and gentle. “Something I’d be interested in doing again, even.”

“Good,” Rey whispered, pulling Jess tight. “Not tonight, but... yes. Again, when there’s time.”

Jess hummed agreement into Rey’s shoulder, closing her eyes and basking in contentment at where she was and the promise they’d made. Even if she didn’t understand exactly what had passed between them, well, there was time to learn, and explore, and she trusted Rey. That could, very easily, be enough.


End file.
